www.famsigvardsen.dk

1. I can please only one person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow isn´t lookinggood either.

2. I love deadlines. I especially like the whooshing sound they make as they go flyingby.

3. Am I getting smart with you? How would you know?

4. I´d explain it to you, but your brain would explode.

5. Someday we´ll look back on all this and plow into a parked car.

6. There are very few personal problems that cannot be solved through a suitableapplication of high explosives.

7. Tell me what you need, and I´ll tell you how to get along without it.

8. Accept that some days you´re the pigeon, and some days you´re the statue.

9. Needing someone is like needing a parachute. If he isn´t there the first time youneed him, chances are you won´t be needing him again.

10. I don´t have an attitude problem. You have a perception problem.

11. Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself,"Where the heck is the ceiling?!"

12. My Reality Check bounced.

13. On the keyboard of life, always keep one finger on the escape key.

14. I don´t suffer from stress. I´m a carrier.

15. You´re slower than a herd of turtles stampeding through peanut butter.

16. Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons, ´cuz, like, you are crunchy and taste goodwith ketchup.

17. Everybody is somebody else´s weirdo.

18. Never argue with an idiot. They drag you down to their level then beat you withexperience.