www.famsigvardsen.dk

Every body who has a dog calls him Rover or Boy. I call mine Sex. Heīs a great pal, but he has caused me a great deal of embarrassment.

When I went to City Hall to renew his dog license, I told the clerk I would like a license for Sex. He said, "Iīd like one, too!" Then I said, "But this is a dog." He said he didnīt care what she looked like. Then I said, "You donīt understand. Iīve had Sex since I was 9 years old." He winked and said, "You must have been quite a kid."

When I got married and went on my honeymoon, I took the dog with me. I told the motel clerk that I wanted a room for my wife and a special room for Sex. He said, " You donīt need a special room. As long as you pay your bill we donīt care what you do." I said, "Look, you donīt seem to understand. Sex keeps me awake at night." The clerk said, "Funny---I have the same problem."

One day, I entered Sex in a contest, but before the competition began, the dog ran away. Another contestant asked me why I was just standing there, looking disappointed. I told him I had planned to have Sex in the contest. He told me I should have sold my own tickets. "But you donīt understand," I said, "I had hoped to have Sex on TV." He said, "Now that cable is all over the place, itīs no big dealanymore."

When my wife and I separated we went to court to fight for custody of the dog. I said, "Your Honour, I had Sex before I was married." The Judge said, "This courtroom isnīt a confessional. Stick to the case, please. "Then I told him that after I was married, Sex left me. He said thatīs not unusual. It happens to a lot of people.

Last night, Sex ran off again. I spent hours looking around town for him. A cop came over to me and asked, "What are you doing in this alley at 4 oīclock in the morning?" I told him that I was looking for Sex.

My case comes up Friday.