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Subject: Beer Label Warnings - Consumption of alcohol may...

Due to increasing product liability litigation, beer manufacturers have accepted theMedical Associations suggestion that the following warning labels be placed immediatelyon all beer containers.

WARNING: consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not.

WARNING: consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like a wanker.

WARNING: consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell the same boring story over andover again until your friends want to SMASH YOUR HEAD IN.

WARNING: consumption of alcohol may cause you to thay shings like thish.

WARNING: consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers are really dyingfor you to telephone them at 4 in the morning.

WARNING: consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell happened to yourtrousers.

WARNING: consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically converse withmembers of the opposite sex without spitting.

WARNING: consumption of alcohol may make you think you have mystical Kung Fu powers.

WARNING: consumption of alcohol may cause you to roll over in the morning and seesomething really scary (whose species and/or name you cant remember).

WARNING: consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of inexplicable rug burns on theforehead.

WARNING: consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, handsomerand smarter than some really, really big guy named FRANZ.

WARNING: consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe you are invisible.

WARNING: consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing WITH you.

WARNING: consumption of alcohol may cause an influx in the space-time continuum,whereby small (and sometimes large) gaps of time seem to literally disappear.

WARNING: consumption of alcohol may actually CAUSE pregnancy.